SEEEEXXX PLEASE
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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