Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
