my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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