sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
