No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
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You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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