I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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