He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
