i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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