so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
