some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
