she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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