dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
