my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
