He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
