She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
