yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
