just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
