Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
try to milk me bitch
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize