Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
