Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
