I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
