Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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