1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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