Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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