Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
