Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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