Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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