Where is the hickey?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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