he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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