ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do herpes really smell.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So much rum. So many feels.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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