he thought i was a dude.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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