I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
