i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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