i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's the barista slut.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
