you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
