You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
