One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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