Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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