Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
