I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize