does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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