Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
