"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
