If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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