epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
