So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
