I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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