I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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