so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
