Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
