Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
