Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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