My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
