walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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