If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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