YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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