At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
don't judge my taste in strippers
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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