She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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