he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
