She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
