she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
