No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
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He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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