thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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