I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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