do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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